For children of first-generation immigrants, there is always a sense of disconnect, living in a country that may hold different customs and values to those of their parents. Some may lead double lives, fully immersing themselves in their family traditions within the home, but shamefully attempting to conceal that part of their identity to fit into the wider society of the country they live in.

As a British Indian Muslim girl and a third-generation child - born to parents who were also born and raised in the UK, I have multiple identities that feel completely natural to me. I live in an increasingly diverse part of the UK with many others like me, easily accepting my Gujarati origins in relation to my British lifestyle and religious upbringing, yet never having a real connection with my grandparents’ homeland of Gujarat and never delving into the specifics of how I got here. But this limited understanding of the homeland comes with its own generational crisis. What do I actually know about my history and heritage? Who were my grandparents before they moved, where specifically did they come from, and what is this gap in the story of my ancestry? . Of the roughly 5.5 million South Asians residing in the UK, 800,000 of can trace their ancestry to the state of Gujarat, along the Western Coast of India, so I am most certainly not alone.

In the mid-20th Century, my young grandparents moved from their villages the state of Gujarat, on the Western Coast of India, and travelled to England in search of stability. They settled in their respective cities, building up new lives and families, but for them, there would always be that strong connection and yearning for the original homeland. Generations later amongst that connection is almost fully severed. 

I have never visited India, never seen my ancestral village, never fully learnt the Gujarati language, never entirely known what brought me here and where I came from. Those poor Gujarati skills as a child meant I could never properly grasp their tales nor request my grandparent’s stories, and I always assumed I had time to discover who they really were as I grew older. Only now do I realise grandparents are a limited resource, with my remaining grandmother passing earlier in the year and my remaining grandfather growing weak with dementia, I saw my opportunity rapidly shrinking.  

Desperately cobbling together pieces of stories from what my parents, aunts, uncles, and old family friends recalled, that far off time and fantastical world began to take shape within my mind. An almost dreamscape history manifested through this collective of memories. But I do not seek to exoticize my own culture, rather reclaim it. To me it may seem abstract, but to them it was a reality. 

Despite having never had the chance to visit India, it’s comforting to have some connection to a place beyond my home here in England. Whilst attending school and university, there have always been others just like me from differing parts of South Asia, maybe with slight cultural differences, but raised with the same values and influences from our grandparents’ migration, which made it easier to navigate being a minority. Its easy to feel a sense of shame in your differences when you’re young, but growing and maturing helps you appreciate and value your history. 

Throughout my Textiles degree at UCLan, my grandparents’ lives have been a major influence within my projects. Homeland Reverie is a fragmented collection of memories and tales from their lives before they moved over. I attempt an exploration of the elements of Gujarat they brought with them and the parts they were forced to leave behind. Using imagery from photographs, heirlooms and visual interpretations of spoken accounts, I compiled an illustrated book of stories, assembled a collection of printed scarves to serve as worn memories, alongside an interior print collection to fill the home, and finally a fantastical village-scape installation to represent the scenes in their past through my mind’s eye. Homeland Reverie celebrated my South Asian heritage in a way that is unique to me, yet allows anyone to appreciate the humble, yet culturally rich lives my grandparents led. 

I feel that only now do I value the understanding of this culture I know I belong to yet have never fully experienced. The exploration of localised history, rich and vibrant Indian culture, and personal struggle of uprooting oneself to travel for a better life is thoroughly documented in my project so far to emulate the essence of my family heritage. The project navigates a familiar concept of traditional storytelling through fables and folklore across the world. I explore the variations in artistic interpretations, stylised motifs, and textile elements unique to their origins, that aid in communicating a story effectively through the lens of its country’s heritage and culture.

Aamina Desai - 2023 Textiles Graduate